30 Things: Part 3

I know traditionally people usually list something they are grateful for each day. I’m not sure I’ll have the time to do that every night, so I might end up listing things in batches every couple days, with hopefully 30 at the end of the month. I imagine once I hit half way through the month, some of these might get interesting. I’ll probably post it to my Facebook at the end of the November or at the start of December. So if you’re here early–hi. There might be typos, spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not doing a deep clean on this, so please excuse the mess. (Also, another blog post is coming soon. I like it, I'm just worried I'm repeating stuff I've already said in other blogs, so I need to go back and compare them to the new one.)

Scrolling down the list was getting ridiculous, so I'm splitting it up into thirds so it's hopefully easier to navigate. This is the third part.

21. Less scared of Snakes (mostly)

In the past year or so, I've gotten pretty good at identifying snakes. I’ve never had a strong fear of them, but I also haven’t been particularly keen either. Originally, I joined a group after hearing about how some people with chickens let Ratsnakes hang around to eat the rats (and the occasional egg). Sounded like a fair trade. It was an interesting group, and it eventually lead to some others.

One group has people teach identifiers between the different species of snakes, and is where I get to practice. It's become a weird unplanned/accidental hobby as I scroll down my wall, see someone ask ”what snake is this?” followed by their location, and then I take a guess before checking the comments. 

Another group is just to help people identify if the snake is venomous or not. However, my favorite is probably one called “Ratsnakes in Predicaments,” and it's where people share pictures of a ratsnake in some situation that makes you ask “how did it even get there?” 

Sometimes it's not one of the harmless ones. If it's a rattlesnake, a lot of people will then suggest local relocation help. Water moccasins just get the hose set to jet and are told to move on.

The groups have actually been useful, too. My sister sent me a pic of a snake chilling on the pond rocks near the playground in her neighborhood. She was worried about it being a copperhead, but wanted to be sure before sending her husband out to dispatch it. Long story short, I was able to find out for her (and feel mildly self-satisfied with finding out my guess was right). Harmless water snake. The only threat he posed was stealing fish off of someone's line. I think she let her girls take a look at it. 

Do I want to own a snake? Not really. But I’ve gone from being mildly freaked out by them to thinking they're kinda cool. I'm really glad I can identify them correctly at least 75% of the time. And I hope that water snake is grateful too.

(My favorite is probably the Hognose, because they are the most dramatic and hilarious out of all the species. They'll go as far as ‘playing dead’ by rolling on their backs and sticking their tongues out. See. Theatrics. Very convincing. They're hysterical. I keep hoping to find one down here.)

Bonus: I will sometimes learn things from this wrangler named Bruce on Instagram who helps relocate rattlesnakes (usually) in California. Here's a link to one of his more viral moments.

22. My health

I'm grateful for my health in all areas. And I've gotten more protective of it over the years. And if there's anything I've learned, it's stress is the enemy. It's been a running theme for me lately for a reason.

When I was in college, I had a lot of poor habits: not really exercising like I used to, bad sleep habits (still desperately working on that one), eating all the wrong foods, and drinking energy drinks like they were nothing. Then, when I went in for an annual general checkup, I was told I was pre-diabetic when my A1C came back.

Diabetes runs in my family on both sides. My dad has it, as did both of my grandmothers. The genetics are there. I remember the doctor telling me I was too young and that if I didn't get it under control I'd be diabetic now rather than later. I remember thinking “later? Screw that. How about not at all?”

Immediately, I kicked the sugary energy drink, grabbed a gym membership, and started running a ton. Hindsight tells me that it wasn't the best way to go either, but it did help, and it switched my mindset rather abruptly. Three months later, I radically changed my A1C in the right direction.

I still worry about my A1C. Turns out, stress can absolutely impact it, even when you think you're fine. I found out in the past year that even if I'm working out everyday, if my stress spikes high enough, my blood work is toast. So HIIT, meditation, and learning other coping mechanisms are my new hobbies. Because heart disease is another family trait and it too is bff's with stress. So, both of those issues, and their little friend called stress, are something I aim on beating back with a stick, at least to the best of my ability. Life likes to throw curve balls, so I guess I'll have to see.

With all that said, I also take my mental health more seriously than I have before. I think I had an adjustment disorder two years ago, which is basically a mild depression that lasts 6 months. I wrote a little about it in a previous blog, and I'll try to link it later. But it did end, and I'm grateful the adjustment disorder didn't morph into anything else.

But then this year happened and acute stress decided that instead of messing with my emotions, it would mess with my body in other ways instead.

Since then, I've gotten really protective over my bandwidth and mental health. I'm keeping a strong eye on both. I'm more willing to draw lines in the sad, know my limits, and plan ways of letting it out.

But for now, I'm insanely grateful for the health I do have, and I think about that a lot. All too often, I feel I'm reminded of how quickly both can be taken away.

There's no guarantee I'll have good health my entire life. Chronic illnesses, disease, disorders and the like can flare up at any point. The same goes for mental health. But I do know good physical health can have positive impacts on mental health. That more muscle mass is proven to increase survival rates with those who get diagnosed with cancer. And that taking care of my mind helps me keep going with everything else. Nothing is guaranteed. But taking care of both decreases the odds of less desirable effects in just about every area, and I think that is worth pursuing.

23. Hobbies

Thank you ADHD. I have a lot of these. But I'm grateful for the hobbies I have, even if not all of them I'm actively engaged in. I used to draw a ton when I was younger, and I miss that and keep meaning to get back into that. 

But I also like sewing, felt projects, and crafting in general. I like going to the gun range, hiking, and camping. Reading, of course, and writing make the list too. And I'm going to include the gym, because it seems to fall under almost every umbrella.

I have a lot of interests, and I tend to get curious and jump into new things that interest me. Some things stick, and I end up really loving them, or they sometimes get put on hold and then ramped back up again later down the line. And then there are others that tend to end up abandoned (sorry to my guitar and I'm sure other short lived hobbies). 

But I'm grateful that I'm not afraid to try new things. I've had a few people tell me that they are too scared to start things or check something out, and I can understand that. But I'm grateful that I have the personality (or maybe it's my disordered brain) that lets me jump in anyway after a little bit of research and sudden deep interest. It sure has helped me explore and find things that have taught me something new each time.

24. Family

How families show up for each other can vary wildly, and it's sometimes funny to compare. My husband's family is incredibly tight knit to the point that they all agree they'd probably make a pretty good mob if they had any interest in organized crime. Jack said one of his sisters would help him hide a body if he called up and asked, and I'm fairly certain the other would help craft an air tight alibi. Because, to them, family is everything and they will stick by you through your rights and your wrongs. 

I told my sister about that, and she agreed that our family is a different kind of “love you forever.” Ours is the type that if you called and said you'd done something criminal, we'd likely urge you to turn yourself in, and if you won't, then we will—but we'll still visit you in prison. And when you get out, there will be a couch or guest room waiting for you. Still love, but a very, very different flavor. 

So for this entry, I'm going to write a short entry about each family member and why I'm grateful for them. 

Hannah is the pure extrovert of the family. She'd wave and say ‘hi’ to people as soon as she could talk. She's bright, and sunny, and is a big talker. Anytime we go somewhere on vacation and we ask her what she wants to do, her answer is usually people related. She's deeply creative and like her dad, musically gifted. But she also is adventurous and likes the weird and quirky like me. I'm grateful I get a front row seat as she develops as a person. It's been a fun ride seeing her personality grow with her.

Quincy is the one who looks like a clone of Jack, but acts just like me in almost every way (it can be a little crazy at times to witness). He's a little rule follower, which is nice because I need someone who will narc on the other two. He's got my temperament, interests, and sense of humor (at least so far). He's my little buddy who likes to plop on the couch and watch movies with me or cuddle the pets.

Jack is a great dad who makes sure he's there for the kids. He's also incredibly there for his mom, sisters, dad, brother-in-laws, and nephews and nieces, grandmother, and co-workers. He'll drop anything to help them. He's worked hard on creating a good reputation in his profession and is seeing the results of that start to come more to fruition; I definitely would not be able to do the job he does. It takes a certain skill set to handle the pressure and strain his job has, which he does not give himself enough credit for. He has also had good suggestions as to what I could do now that the kids are older, which I also appreciate. As for the Winn family motto, it runs strong with him as he believes “family is everything.” I've watched all of this behind the curtain, and I've been there to witness how much he cares when helping others.

Ember is my little sister. Turns out, as adults we get along really well. She's bubbly, fun, and an incredibly caring person. She thinks I'm funny, which I'm sometimes confused by, lol. Our grandma was known for being an amazing cook who just knew how to put things together, and Ember is a lot like that now with baking—people always want her recipes. We send Marco Polos (a video chat app) back and forth to each other almost everyday (often multiple times a day too). I always look forward to them, and I'm grateful I'm as close to her as I am. 

Scott the middle child. He’s deeply loyal, and cares a lot about the family. I’m not as close to him as I’d like to be, largely due to after high school life took us in completely different directions. He went to BYU after his mission, while Ember and I were at Utah State. He also got married before we did, and he and his wife started their family. Despite not being as close, I’m glad he’s my brother and I enjoy catching up with him.

Mom remembers everything. She has every milestone for everyone written down. She sends the cards, plans the parties, and spends time carefully picking out gifts. Whether volunteering for service activities, helping others, or checking on her friends, my mom is someone who thinks about herself usually last, though I wish sometimes she'd bump herself up the list a little more often. I’m grateful for her role in my life and the example she’s set as not just hard working, but a caring person as well. 

Dad. I’m grateful for the life he provided for us growing up. I also know he loves us.

Shelley is my mother-in-law. She’s fiercely protective of her family, and places them above all else. She’s strong willed and decisive, while trying to do what’s best for everyone. I know some people struggle with their in-laws, and I’ll be glad that doesn’t include me.

Todd is my father-in-law and trying to get him to talk about himself is a challenge. He is an incredible listener who shows a genuine interest in the other person and I deeply appreciate that about him. He’s laid back–until there’s a football game. But he’s always friendly and frequently offers to help others. 

Megan is fun to chat for hours with. She’s always up for a game night or going out and doing something. She usually knows random trivia or the latest fun fact she’s heard. I appreciate the fact that it’s never boring when she’s around.

Lauren is a lot like her dad and is also a really good listener. She is also the youngest of the Winn family, and probably the most loyal. She’s the ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ family member, and I admire the blind loyalty she has in spades.

Evelyn/Dee Dee is Shelley’s mom. She’s a great cook, and is also known for being a welcoming and great host whether at her home in Texas or up at the condo in Utah. She’s easy to laugh with and she often has some fun show recommendations. It’s always fun hearing about the adventures she’s gone on. I’ve always been grateful for how welcome she’s made me feel in her home.

25. Podcasts

I feel like these have been around forever, but only exploded in popularity a few years ago. Regardless of the reasons why they're seemingly growing in popularity, I'm glad because there's so many different types to plug in and listen to. I know I listen to more, but here are three that I've been a fan of currently, or in the past.

I listened to Writing Excuses for years, and it was phenomenal (and probably still is). There's something like 20 seasons now. I really loved the early years with Dan Wells, Brandon Sanderson, Howard Taylor, and Mary Robinette Kowal. But it was usually incredibly educational (and funny) when I was learning to write fiction. Their tagline was “Fifteen minutes long, because you're in a hurry, and we're not that smart.” I really need to go back and listen to them again.

There was one that I was listening to that I should restart. It’s called Old Gods of Appalachia, and is a story telling podcast set in the Appalachian mountains. It definitely sits in the horror category, but it was also incredibly gripping and really well produced. It's been a while since I've listened to it, and I'd gone so far as to have forgotten the name of it. But while writing this, I decided to try to Google to see if I could find it again. I'm glad I did. I think it'll be one I'll dive back into. 

Another one is Species by Macken Murphy. I found this one from the stupid clock app. Macken will post clips about research, usually about people (he researches human mating behavior, which is what got him so much attention on the app in the first place). His podcast has bits of that too, but the majority of it has episodes on animals. For example, he has one about Brown Bears, with the description of the episode as this:

I like him. His intro isn't my favorite, but he's engaging and dives into the research and theories while breaking them down. I haven't listened to everything, but I've listened to a lot. His podcast is one of my current favorites.

26. The Enneagram

I should be an astrology girlie. I know. I too, am disappointed that I am not. But I barely know what all the different zodiac signs mean, and I’m clueless what Mercury in retrograde has to do with anything.

I am, however, obsessed with Enneagram, and that might honestly be worse? Mostly for me, because I get stupid excited if someone knows what it is. 

I like personality tests, though I normally don’t think they describe me as well as I hope, except this one. I was curious enough to pay for my full results (I’ll share them at the end). 

I’ll try to summarize the Enneagram as best I can: It basically breaks people down into one of the nine types of personalities, with most people having a ‘wing’ or subtype that influences the core. It can get complicated, but if anyone is curious, here’s the link that breaks down pretty cleanly how it all works.

Someone said if you take the test, to answer it in terms of how you were when you were probably in your late teens or early twenties. The reason being, if you're past that point like I am, that you’ve likely grown and developed as you’ve aged and have some of the impulses of your type more reigned in. I’ll read a lot of the descriptions of Four, and I’d say it describes me 80% right, especially when I was younger.

But basically, here are the nine types and their names, according to the website:

These one-word descriptors can be expanded into four-word sets of traits. Keep in mind that these are merely highlights and do not represent the full spectrum of each type.

Type 1 (The Reformer): principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Type 2 (The Helper): generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.

Type 3 (The Achiever): adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.

Type 4 (The Individualist): expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.

Type 5 (The Investigator): perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.

Type 6 (The Loyalist): engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.

Type 7 (The Enthusiast): spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered.

Type 8 (The Challenger): self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.

Type 9 (The Peacemaker): receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.

The system also has a health ranking/levels of development that all the types can move through: Healthy (1-3 with 1 being the best health level), Average (4-6), and Unhealthy (5-9). It’s normal to fluctuate in the average to healthy ranges for most people, even on a day to day basis, depending on what’s going on.

I’m a 4 with a stronger than usual 5 wing, making me ‘the Bohemian.’ Basically, my 5 wing helps me have more distance from my emotions so I identify less with them than other type fours. I feel like most days I’m bouncing between health levels 4 and 3 (sometimes 2), and on less stellar days I might dip somewhat into 5, though I don’t think I fully sit there often. 

The enneagram is fun. I like to try to figure out what other people are because it genuinely lets me understand and approach them better when I do (it’s like a cheat sheet. It doesn’t have all the answers to how someone is, but it helps). But what I like best about it is using it for self-growth and understanding, as well as what negative traits I can fall into if I’m not at my best (and how to hopefully avoid them). And that’s what I’m grateful for with that ridiculous personality test. I like that it helps me know what some of my weaknesses are/can be, as well as what some of my strengths are. 

And now a breakdown for anyone curious of what personality makeup is according to the test:

Type 4, The Individualist (23)

Type 5, The Investigator (22)

Type 3, The Achiever (20)

Type 6, The Loyalist (17)

Type 1, The Reformer (17)

Type 7, The Enthusiast (15)

Type 9, The Peacemaker (13)

Type 8, The Challenger (9)

Type 2, The Helper (8)

27. My Psychology Class

Despite no longer planning to pursue a masters, I’m still really glad I took this class. I already know a lot of what was taught, but there were also a lot of things I didn’t know or my knowledge was more vague than what I learned. So, I’m glad I took it in part for my own benefit, enough so that I’m going to share some of the things I found the most insightful or useful. There was A LOT. Believe it or not, my outline was significantly longer than what I wrote below. I may make a post in the future diving into the other things I learned, if only for my own benefit of reinforcing it to memory, but here are two of the biggest ones I found valuable and I'm grateful I learned about.

Stages of Psychological Development (Across Our Lifespan)

Our brain stops developing physically at around age 25 (the prefrontal cortex–the area responsible for logical thinking, planning, risk taking, and decisions). However, we psychologically continue to develop and change, according to Erik Erikson’s theory on stages of psychological development. There’s eight stages in his theory, with the final three being Young Adulthood (20s), Middle adulthood (30-50s), and finally Old Age (60’s onwards). All stages have a ‘crisis’ people at that stage need to resolve in one of two ways.

Young Adults face Intimacy versus Isolation. It resolves itself by young adults learning how to commit and function in long term relationships. It’s a pretty simple one. Even if people don’t always marry in their 20’s, many have still experienced long term relationships, or try to.

Middle Adulthood’s crisis is Generativity versus Stagnation. Generativity basically means feeling good about what you’re leaving behind. People around my age are worried about the future, and this includes their kids or other younger generations. Middle adults are also focused on finding a fulfilling career and contributing to their communities in some way. If they leave this stage feeling like their children (or those they influenced) are on the right road, and they’ve left a good impact on their society/community, they are more likely to leave this development stage with a more positive outlook on life as they enter the last stage of adulthood. 

However, if they feel like they failed their children and community, they are more likely to go the stagnation route where they “focus only on oneself and a feeling life is going nowhere or that people are very materialistic and self-centered. Contemporary research indicates that people who are high in generativity have a more positive outlook on life. A focus on generativity is beneficial for people adjusting to retirement.”

In short, it makes me feel a little better knowing it’s pretty dang normal for me to be largely preoccupied with what I want to do with my life (even if I feel like I’m alone, drowning, and at times feeling an overwhelming sense of dread about it all. But I think that has a lot to do with feeling behind everyone). If I wasn’t planning on re-entering the workforce, I already know I was going to seek out volunteer opportunities. I think that’s why a lot of adults I know that aren’t pursuing careers are usually either involved at their kids’ schools, churches, or other service-type aspects of their community where there’s a sense of “giving back.” Even while I know I want to work, I’m hoping to still find some ways to volunteer or do something positive in my community–especially after reading about this theory. Because the theory wasn’t that job satisfaction or ‘success’ was a requirement to leave middle adulthood positively, but rather a sense of contribution. And I don’t know how ‘successful’ I’ll be in the workforce, but I do know I can find ways to leave a positive impact. I like that. And as for the kids–still to be determined, but so far I’m hopeful.

The last stage, Old Age, faces Integrity versus Despair as people face their own mortality. I liked a few things the text said, including this: “...the psychological challenge of late adulthood involves how we view our lives, not whether those lives were easy or trauma free.”

I think we all know older people who were once happy in middle age and then became bitter when they were older, or the opposite when they became happier. According to Erikson’s theory, this seems to happen because at this stage people are looking at their lives and are deciding if they are satisfied with how they lived it and if they feel like they earned wisdom from it. The text also said a lot more people at this stage are actually satisfied with their lives than what used to be believed. Especially if "...throughout their lives they have worked hard to maintain their physical health, their social ties, and cognitive capacities,” and that “we all play active roles in our own development…[and] how we experience each phase of the life span depends on our own perceptions, the social support we receive, and the interactions between nature and nurture.”

I find it useful knowing what each stage faces and that we may not have complete control of things, we do have more than what I may have assumed previously. 

Self-Esteem & Regulation

Whether you have high or low self-esteem has very little to do with life outcomes. I was rather surprised by that. My baseline isn’t great. I’ve worked on it a lot, and I think I've been successful at it, but the foundation? Absolute trash. Certain things can still level me. So, surprisingly, I actually enjoyed learning things about self-image and some facts about it.

Like how your self-esteem has very little to do with people liking you. It impacts your perception, not others. Someone can be popular and incredibly well-liked, and have basement level self-esteem. Criminals and bullies often think highly of themselves.

Self-esteem also doesn’t have a very high predictor of career success either, and that studies showing people with high self-esteem having higher career success may be more of a correlation/causation problem (and that the higher rates are very slight).

I already knew it was possible to improve your self-esteem, but I still appreciated the advice I read that said to talk to yourself like you would to a friend.

But there are a few other ways to help with self-esteem, and some of them also work as coping strategies if things are going shitty. 

One way is what is called downward comparisons, which is when we compare ourselves to someone else who you think has it worse off. A lot of people discourage using this one, but it has been studied and shown as helpful at times, like with those struggling with serious health problems. Another way is comparing yourself to your past self. I know I do this all the time. I like to believe I’ve improved and that I’m ‘doing better now than I was then.’ People with higher self-esteem often engage in downward comparisons.

But one of the most useful things I learned was the different ways people can regulate their emotions. Some are more helpful than others, and I think a lot of it depends on what’s going on in my life for how successful the different strategies can be. To keep this entry from going even longer, I'll keep them as short as I can, though they are worth looking into more in depth on their own.

Rumination: it’s the brain trying desperately to find an answer as it loops on repeat. Not the best one, but definitely the one I’m most guilty of. It’s “thinking about, elaborating, and focusing on undesired thoughts or emotions,” and it gets you stuck longer than the others. Boo.

Suppression: it’s ruminations opposite and is also not the healthiest and is extremely difficult to do. Oftentimes the rebound effect happens later on. I wish I was a little bit better at this one. 

Positive Reappraisal: this is a really good one I’m going to try to practice more often. It’s when “you directly alter your emotional reactions to an event by thinking about the events in a more neutral or even positive terms…[and can change] activity in regions of the brain involved in the experience of the emotion.” It sounds a lot like how you’re framing it in your mind, or trying to take on a different perspective. 

Humor: is my favorite one. Laughter is awesome both for mental and physical health. In one study, “40 people were interviewed whose spouse had recently died. The researchers found that genuine laughter during the interview was associated with positive mental health and fewer negative feelings, such as grief…[and] was a way of coping with a difficult situation.” Some theorize it helps distance us from negative emotions and helps strengthen our bonds to others. My take away: if things suck, find a way to laugh. It might not solve the problem, but it could help bring emotional, physical, and mental relief.

Distraction: If you can, think about something else. This one is not the best one for me, but I'm getting better at it. I know a lot of people turn to this one. The text does warn though that distractions can backfire if you end up thinking about other problems or turn to maladaptive behaviors as a form of distraction (like drinking or overeating).

28. Self-expression

Clothes and makeup are fun. Seeing a shirt that raises an eyebrow or two because it pokes at the boundaries of what people deem appropriate or even taboo, while still being completely harmless, will usually have me cackling.

I didn’t really start wearing makeup until covid. I had some, but I didn’t wear it very often, nor did I have much confidence in applying it–but I wanted to. I’d started to appreciate it more, and so around the time of covid, I started watching YouTube tutorials and looking up guides on Pinterest. Even if I wasn’t going to leave the house, I’d practice. Now I love it. I’m not an expert by any means, but I think it’s fun and I like to experiment sometimes (with mixed results).

I own an absurd amount of dresses, jeans, oversized hoodies, a ton of graphic t-shirts, and stilettos that make my feet hurt just looking at them. I like dressing up or in ways that might be ‘sexy’, because it feels both good and like an assertion of aspects of my personality. My sexuality and gender are things I value about myself, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that I like to sometimes express that.

I think our ability to dress in a way that non-verbally communicates things about us is one of those small things that we take for granted. What I wear doesn’t tell people everything about me, but it’s not fair to say that it tells them nothing either. I genuinely appreciate being able to express aspects of myself with how I present. I can’t control how people interpret how I come across, but that doesn’t make the process any less enjoyable. 

29. Friends

I feel similarly to my friends as Jack does with his family. I deeply value the friends that I’ve had, both current and the ones I am less in touch with. I don’t have as much opportunity to meet people down here (one reason why I do not want a full-time work from home job). I did download an app and join a group on Facebook though, and now that my class is done, I’m hoping I’ll be able to meet more people. The good news is, I still have my friends from Utah that I stay in touch with and get to visit. I’ve thought a lot about how people wish they’d communicated how much they love and appreciate those in their lives before they are gone. Maybe in 2026 I’ll write letters to people I know telling them as much. I’ve also played with the idea of writing letters and posting them here, but without their names or ways to identify them. Kind of like continuing this Gratitude blog entry but throughout the year. Maybe I still will. I’ll have to think on it. I doubt I'd share the posts, but have them posted and up regardless.

But for now, I wanted to list a few of my friends below and a short reason for why I’m grateful for each of them.

Missy: She was one of my roommates in college and is the one listed here that I’ve known the longest (about 18 years, which is unsettling). I’m grateful for her for a lot of reasons. We bonded over books when we were in the dorms together, and that’s stayed pretty consistent. So I’m going to focus on that gratitude of so many memories of us reading series together, pulling an all-nighter to read the last book of Twilight together (and the subsequent horror as we turned each page as the spell Stephenie Meyer had us under broke), or me calling her while she worked the night shift and listening to her laugh as I read fanfic to her over the phone. I’m glad we often have similar taste and are able to know when to shove a book at each other and say, “You have to read this. Now.” Because we’re going to talk about it. A lot. 

Dee (Amanda): I met Dee through Missy and she is a force of nature all her own. She’s a tall, loud, self-aware bulldozer. She knows all of this and would laugh about it too. She won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do and knows how to stop when you ask–which is rare with a personality like hers, which is all the more reason why I love her. Dee has her opinions and will let you know them, which I appreciate. I can talk in depth with her about so many topics and it’s usually fast paced and interesting. She’s honest, and funny, and I laugh around her more than probably anyone else. She is who she is, knows her strengths and flaws, and knows how to balance being both tactful and direct. She loves people in an incredibly fierce way, and if there’s anyone you want in your corner, it’s definitely her.

Heidi: Is my one friend really down here in Texas. There’s some deep irony that her husband is also the Stake President. She is an incredibly kind and good person. Sometimes I get the sense some people talk to me in hopes that I’ll show up at church on Sunday, but I’ve never felt that from her. I know she cares about me for me and I genuinely couldn’t be more grateful for that. We get together with our kids and will often talk about travel or what we’ve been up to. She’s one of the sweetest people I know. I wish more people were as kind as she is.

Stephanie: I’m so glad she wanted to have an adventure when I reached out to her earlier in the year. We’d messaged off and on, and I’ve often wished she lived closer. After seeing her in Florida in March, that is definitely still true. I had an absolute blast spending the weekend swimming with Manatees and exploring Florida with her. It was such a fun weekend adventure (and shout out to Kyle for letting me steal her away for it too). I loved getting to know her better and hope we can do something like that again. I’m glad I reached out to her, and that she was game too.

30. This Past Year

I learned a lot this year. It's interesting to look at where I thought it was going to go and where it ended up. I think I learned a lot about myself and others in 2025. I’m grateful for it, even if parts of it were rough. I’m sure 2026 will have its own storms, but until the New Year, I’m looking back at 2025 with gratitude for both the good and the bad. The good brought memories I’ll hopefully keep etched in my mind forever, while the more negative has allowed me to see the lessons those more painful moments taught. I don’t think life gets ‘harder’ but just more complex and messy. At least that keeps it interesting. So thank you, 2025 for both the beautiful and the fucked up. I’m grateful for both, even if one requires a little more distance to see it that way.

Look at that. I finished it. Yay. It's Sunday night, December 12th. But it's done. Editing is easier. I'll get that done Monday or Tuesday and then share part 1. Then I'll set my sights on the 3/4 finished Mt. Rainer blog and finish that. But I'll take a moment after finishing this to breathe first.

Part 1 includes: The Gym, Social Media, Animals/Pets, Aging, Going Back to School, Airplanes, People are Good, I Hate This City, Books!, and Men

Part 2 (11-20) includes: My Sprocket, Self-Improvement, YouTube, Thanks Mom, for the Fandom Love, Collections, Adventures, The Sound of Water, Pity Parties, Theodore Roosevelt & Alice Roosevelt, Humor