30 Things: Part 1 (November's Ongoing Blog)

I don’t think I’ve ever done one of these, but in my psychology textbook, it went into depth about all the benefits of gratitude on a person’s well-being. According to what I read, it can help redirect your thoughts towards the positive, and in turn elicit more positive emotions. It also said that having more gratitude has shown to have multiple benefits including less anxiety, more happiness and life satisfaction, optimism, and lower blood pressure. So, I guess this is an experiment of sorts, because all those things sound great.

I know traditionally people usually list something they are grateful for each day. I’m not sure I’ll have the time to do that every night, so I might end up listing things in batches every couple days, with hopefully 30 at the end of the month. I imagine once I hit half way through the month, some of these might get interesting. I’ll probably post it to my Facebook at the end of the November or at the start of December. So if you’re here early–hi. There might be typos, spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not doing a deep clean on this, so please excuse the mess. (Also, another blog post is coming soon. I like it, I'm just worried I'm repeating stuff I've already said in other blogs, so I need to go back and compare them to the new one.)

1. The Gym

It's more or less my sanctuary. It keeps me sane and is what usually my daily routine hinges on. Lately, I’ve been struggling getting there as early as I’d like to, but I’m inching my way back towards the earlier morning. Even then, it makes my mood better, my day better, my confidence higher, and helps me just overall feel better. I've also started a new workout program I'm excited about. I was in a bit of a rut of doing the same thing every week and I was well past bored because of it. So, yay for new programs, too!

2. Social Media

I know a lot of people hate it, but let me keep my vice, please. It still serves me, and when it stops, then I’ll stop. My socials are my little fishbowl (and to be clear, I’m aware I’m usually the fish). I like seeing people I know on the platforms. It helps me feel a little bit connected. I don’t consider it a time waster when I think that if I didn’t have it, I likely wouldn’t have any idea of what is going on in other’s lives. I don’t really drink or do gummies, or much of anything else in terms of vices. Unless swearing is a vice, and then I guess I have two. But if social media is my vice, then it’s my vice. Anyone who wants to take it from me will have to fight me over it like a rabid raccoon. It normally doesn’t make me sad. It helps me find local events or groups. It reminds me I do actually know people. And I need that.

3. Animals/Pets

I love animals. I always have. They’re pure in a way that humans aren’t. They communicate clearly, if you understand their body language. I usually like animals more than people. They don’t have an agenda. They either like you, or they don’t. There’s not much confusion there, and there's safety in that. I think they’re more emotionally complex than a lot of people give them credit for. I could talk a lot about this one, but I'm trying to keep these short. So I'll share this instead:

I love Jane Goodall. I feel like she sums up a of how I feel when during a speech she shared how other scientists said, "Jane, you shouldn't have given these chimpanzees names. They're your subjects; they should have numbers. Jane, you cannot talk about animals having personalities, minds, and emotions. Those are unique to us. You can't have empathy with your subjects. To be a good scientist, you've got to be objective and to be objective, you can't have empathy."

She went on to say, "Well, I had a great teacher when I was child. A teacher who had already taught me that what these professors were saying was absolute rubbish. That teacher, many of you have had, was my dog Rusty. And whether you've had a dog, a cat, a guinea pig, a rabbit, a parrot, or what it is, you know perfectly well that we are not the only beings on the planet with personalities, minds, and emotions. And gradually, science came to accept that we are part of, and not separate from, the rest of the animal kingdom."

4. Aging

Because so many don’t get to.

I’m all for aging as well as you can and as best as you can. I had micro needling done this year. I take supplements and workout. My skin care routine is truly ridiculous. I have no shame in admitting that I'm a vain little creature, but I also don’t fear getting older. I’d just like to do it as well as I can. But I hope I don’t mourn getting wrinkles or grey hair (yes, I've already found one), because living is an adventure and years are milestones some people don’t ever reach, so I’m grateful that I’m alive.

And just to lean in with the corniness of it, I think aging is kind of like books. At the end, I hope I'm more like a battered copy with creases and a worn out cover, than one that never was once opened. It's sad when I see a book is never read, or someone doesn't get to finish. I’ll gladly welcome the inevitable signs of age so long as I’m still around to keep living and doing what I love to do. And I hope I have a lot of chapters left to go.

Besides, I've been enjoying my 30s. Rumor has it the hinges come completely off in your 40s, lol. Not sure what that means for me, but bring it on. Sounds fun.

5. Going Back to School

I'm glad I'm taking classes again. I haven't yet applied for the masters program for psychology yet because I'm trying to pad my transcript a little more before doing so. It's overwhelming to feel like I'm a decade behind everyone else, and that's a type of difficult that's hard to talk about. But I try and focus on the positives, like how my time not working wasn't wasted. I learned a lot during those years, but that doesn't make trying to figure out my life now any easier.

Going back to school and taking classes has been different from the first time around. For starters, I have multiple things motivating me this time, so my drive to do well is much, much higher. It's also been incredibly satisfying to feel like the work is paying off. I got a 98 on a research paper I wrote. I don't think I ever got a grade on any paper, let alone a major paper for a class, with a grade that high. So far, my test results have been high as well. I'm a little shocked by my overall grade in the class. It's helping build my confidence that I can do this.

The plan so far is to get the credits and then apply for a graduate program, but even if that plan changes, it won't be for nothing. I at least have something I can add to a resume because of this class and future ones. Either way, going back was a good decision, and I'm grateful I made it.

Edit for mini update: Lulz. Sike. Since I wrote this entry, I've talked to a career counselor at the school about the three paths I could take if I pursued a master's degree. Turns out, I was looking at the same future as journalism in some ways. High competition for the high paying jobs, and low pay but high demand for the others. I left the zoom call feeling discouraged, as the paths were possible, but very long and difficult as I'd likely need to develop more skills in other industries to have a shot at them. Long story short, I ended up talking to Jack about it and he suggested paralegal, which my sister also said "oh, you'd be good at that. I can see it."

Turns out that profession requires strong abilities in following rules/direction, writing, and organization skills—which I actually do feel are strengths of mine. The pay is in the range I was hoping for (52-75k). And the requirements are an associates degree in an applicable field and certification (which costs around 5k...far preferable to the 30k+ I was looking at pursuing a master's). The plan now is to talk to a few lawyers/paralegals about the job, take some skill courses online, and then apply to Rice for their Paralegal certificate program. Another benefit is the program would take 5 months to a year to complete, which sounds a hell of a lot better than how many years a master's would have taken. And the psychology course I'm taking still helps me, as for a lot of paralegal programs ran through colleges/universities list a general psych class as an optional elective to apply to the program.

Oh, and if anyone knows (or is) a paralegal or works in law and is familiar with the job, can you please hit me up? I'm looking to talk to a couple, hopefully in various industries (insurance, court, law firms, police departments, any of them really), to get an idea of where I might want to apply after.

Sometimes this feels hopeless and just so freaking hard trying to figure what am I going to do. But I also know if I keep trying, I won't be lost forever. Eventually, I'm going to figure my shit out. I just need to remind myself that it's an adventure and it's okay if I have a few wrong turns or false starts. For those watching me struggle through this, I'm sure this has been a confusing ride for you too. But I'm going to figure this out. I just have to keep trying.

And to keep with the theme of this post, I'm grateful that I'm able to have the time and space to figure this out. I'm even more grateful I have developed enough patience over the years that I didn't just jump straight into a master's program before learning all this. It saved me a lot of not just money by instead of going full steam head, I've learned to slow down and think everything through. I'm so glad I've gotten better at being less impulsive.

6. Airplanes

Because it takes three days to drive across Texas, but I can be in a different state in a couple of hours if I take a plane. And I’m super grateful for budget airlines and their get away deals. I'm actually scared of flying (heights freak me out), but the more I go, the easier it gets.

7. People are Good

Not always, but I love the reminder that while mankind might have a great capacity for terrible things, I think it's often easy for me to overlook how good people can be too. Like stumbling upon the story of friendship that formed between the Irish people and Choctaw people. How back in the 1840s, when the potato famine was wrecking havoc on the Irish population, the Choctaw, after walking the Trail of Tears, were the only ones to gather money together and send it to help the Irish. And then during COVID-19, the Irish returned the favor. I like having hope for people. When healthy, people have the capacity to help others, be kind, and show compassion. And I really love that about our species. I'll always be grateful for that reminder.

8. I Hate This City

But I’m trying to focus on the positives with this one in particular, and without getting snarky about it. So I’ll write about what I find good about living here and what I am sincerely grateful for.

For starters, the museums are great. I renewed my membership to Houston’s Museum of Natural Science a month or two ago. It’s one of the perks of living in the massive, ever expanding city (last I checked, Houston was expected to overtake Chicago as number three in the country, at least in terms of population in the next ten years or so). I love when a new exhibit arrives, which I think the Terracotta Warriors exhibit will be opening soon. They still have Death by Natural Causes open, which is a pretty cool one I finally was able to go to in the past year after trying and failing last time at least three separate times. 

I like pulling out my phone, scanning the little QR codes and listening to an audio description through my headphones as I wander from low lit rooms with artifacts contained behind glass and few bright lights focusing on what's on display. HMNS is my favorite, but there are several others in the museum district that I need to check out. And of course there is NASA, which is always fun to visit. I like having a place that lets me indulge my curiosity, and the good news is Houston at least has several places for me to go and do that. I need to visit the art museums too, so maybe that will be a goal before the new year.

There’s also the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, which is an absolute monster of an event that lasts a couple weeks every spring. It attracts all the big headliners for the evening concerts and the biggest names in the rodeo circuit to perform. There are vendors everywhere, and a carnival that you could spend all day at.

Which reminds me that usually whenever a popular performer, whether musician or comedian, has a tour, it’s pretty much guaranteed that Houston will be on the list. I do appreciate that.

If you’re a foodie, you won’t be disappointed. If there is one thing Houston is known for, it’s probably the food scene. I’m not as well acquainted with the restaurants, but I know that’s something the city has going for it. 

Something else that is good is what I heard my parents say when I was growing up: Houston isn’t a place people came to visit but it was a place people came to live, and that’s pretty true. It’s a commuting city, with most of the workforce living in the surrounding cities (like us). But there are good schools in the area, several respected universities, and a diverse population of not just ethnicity but religions as well, which I’ve always liked.

And land is cheap in comparison to other parts of the country. In all honesty, it’s difficult to find places comparable in that regard. And there are a lot of jobs. That’s another good thing. 

We have two airports: Bush International and Hobby. Houston is a hub city, and also only an hour away from Galveston. So having a port so close by is also incredibly nice for going on cruises. I really need to find a site where last minute deals are listed.

So there are quite a few things that are positive about this place, if I ignore how I feel like I keep testing the fence for weak points. 

9. Books!

I love the smell of books, whether old or new. It makes me all happy inside to thumb the pages. We moved every couple years when I was a kid (right up until middle school), and I struggled to make friends at school. So I turned to books instead.

When I was ten and eleven we lived in Louisiana, and I remember I was allowed to go to the library during lunch and sometimes recess, which is what I often did most days because I was too shy to try to talk to the other kids (many of them already had their friend groups from previous years). So I wandered the bookshelves instead. If I did go to recess, I think I usually took a book with me there too. It was a habit I carried into middle school with me pulling one out in between classes, or lunch. 

At least in middle school I made friends with a couple boys and a girl at a table. I know a lot of people said they hated middle school. I didn’t mind it so much. I, luckily, never experienced bullying, and for the most part was left alone. If anything, more than once, if there was a class bully, he was usually nice to me. I still haven’t figured that one out yet. But if I had to guess, it likely had to do with me keeping to myself and becoming deaf to the world by leaning over my desk to read every chance I had. I read a lot in high school and college too. But I didn’t really slow down until in more recent years. 

I miss reading. It’s hard to have as much time as before, but I’m trying to carve out more of it. I try to listen to more audio books. That definitely helps. What’s been funny is how my reading preferences have changed though. I used to hate nonfiction–give me fantasy or science fiction any day. But now that’s mainly what I read. That, and smut. But what I really need to do is just tackle my TBR pile, which has a little bit of everything.

But books make me happy. I like disappearing for hours into one, even if it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that. They’re portals to pretty much anywhere, with usually characters that sometimes have stayed with me more than the faces of my teachers in school did. Once I finish the class this semester, I think I need to tweak my evenings more intentionally (and hopefully keep to it).

10. Men

I love men. I think the two genders get pitted against each other a lot, and men in particular in society right now get a lot more hate than is deserved. Individually, sure. There are some seriously problematic people. And I think it doesn’t help matters when the differences between men and women are focused on more than the similarities, because both have far more in common than is really acknowledged, and that annoys me. 

But as a whole, I genuinely enjoy men, and whether a lot of those differences are biological or cultural I guess is something worth studying/debating, but regardless of which, I appreciate what those differences are and I find them deeply attractive. I have a problem with the patriarchy, and I think that can place undue strain on both genders in rather negative ways, but I don’t think men are the problem. There’s a lot to love about the opposite gender, and I don't think that gets enough attention, so I like to stop and remember that. (There's a good chance I'll come back to expand on this.)

Part 2 includes: My Sprocket, Self-Improvement, YouTube, Thanks Mom, for the Fandom Love, Collections, Adventures, The Sound of Water, Pity Parties, Theodore Roosevelt & Alice Roosevelt, Humor

Part 3 includes: Less scared of Snakes (mostly), My Health, Hobbies, Family, Podcasts, Enneagram, My Psychology Class, Self-expression, Friends, This Past Year